


The Emotion Called Happiness

by veridium_bye



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Best Friends, F/F, Femslash, Friendship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 04:41:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16527572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veridium_bye/pseuds/veridium_bye
Summary: Theia and Olivia enjoy a brief respite from the workday at Skyhold, and reflect upon the ways in which the Inquisition has changed them -- including who they have chosen to love in the midst of war.





	The Emotion Called Happiness

“Thank you for ensuring the requisition office does not descend into chaos,” Theia smirked as she walked alongside Olivia, arms folded as they surveyed the view from the Battlements. It was a still, slightly brisk day, warm enough for the two women to be out without being too put off the cold.

Olivia ran her hands through her hair, preparing to put it up in another messy bun with a strip of scarf fabric that was tied around her wrist. “’Tis no skin off my back, Theia, though I was surprised you placed such authority onto me a mere two months after I came here,” she said, untangling her tie and twisting it up in her hair.

“Truth be told, I had been looking for someone to delegate to for quite some time. I do not know if you’ve caught on, but requisitions is a rather…nauseating business.”

“Yes, for someone who has not put in place proper measures and methods,” Olivia teased, eyeing her from her periphery as she turned to look out at the mountain landscape. “It is beautiful, here, isn’t it? So vast and isolated you’d swear the world did not exist.”

“I wish I could still believe such things,” Theia sighed, leaning up against the stone railing. “Now when I see untouched land, my first thought is to wonder how long it’ll be before we come across another rift for me to close.”

Olivia giggled, holding her arms to her chest, feeling the fleece coat on her own body. “Is there a record for the shortest amount of time?”

“Yes, 23 minutes.”

Olivia burst out laughing, then, rolling her eyes. “Theia, you would be the one to turn powerful heroism into a comical chore. You were always so smug in training. The other girls hated you.”

“Yes, but they also like kissing me, too. So, what was the consensus, then, truly?”

Theia stifled her chuckle, feeling Olivia’s fist punch her shoulder. Feigning pain, she rubbed it and winced. “Such spite, from a friend.”

Olivia acted like she was bereft at her style of humor, but honestly, it was a relief to her that they could still joke like this after all they had been through. Such things were blessings after so much trauma and derision. Times and conversations like these reminded her of simpler times, though they did not feel so simple as they were experiencing them.

There was a brief silence wherein both women gazed out at the open expanse of mountain range, snow-capped and still to the bare eye. It was as Olivia said, desolate and unassuming – even though Skyhold rumbled and roared with activity, it was easy to forget that such a worldly organization existed here. Sometimes they could pretend that they had simply gone off onto another continent or land far enough away to start anew.

But this was not Theia’s daydream – her fate was irrevocably tied to that of Thedas.

“How has this changed you, do you think?” Olivia asked, leaning her jaw onto her hand and resting her elbow on the stone.

Theia’s brow furrowed. “Hm?”

“How has being Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste herself? How has it all changed you?”

Theia took a breath, the crisp but dense air filling her tired chest. It was an interesting question to humor, given how young she was. A 24-year-old Inquisitor had been a curious sight to behold, but she had done about as well as anyone her age could do with so little life experience.

“I suppose it has made me more assured of myself in some ways. I feel more…confident, I think. Even when I feel I may be wrong or overwhelmed, I do not scare as easily as I used to.”

“You did not scare easy to begin with, to be fair,” Olivia interjected.

“Veronica would disagree with you on that regard, but I like to believe I had a bit of gumption before this all came into being.”

Olivia turned her shoulders a bit. “You wish to know what I think? I think it has simply forced you to allow yourself to become the person you were always meant to be. You always stood in your own way, Theia-Bird, like you were convinced against your own side. I always saw it in you, and the girls did, too. Even Veronica. Now, everyone gets to see it.”

Theia smiled, feeling slightly unprepared for such affection. She felt warmth in her face, bashful even after all the exaltation she had been jaded by in her role.

“I suppose it is a good thing, then. I would hate to imagine what the Inquisition would be having to apologize for if I was still holding myself back.”

“The world would scarcely be able to blame you for simply believing all it has told you about who and what you are. A repressed Mage is merely a Mage who has not been convinced of their own worth and humanity.”

“The world blames with impunity, Olivia, you know that most of all.”

After a few more moments of silently taking in the horizon, the two Mage women recommenced their walking along the Battlement wall. Side-by-side, though the Inquisitor was the taller by far, their blonde heads made them easy to spot. But, everyone knew when the Inquisitor was in the company of one of her fellow Foxes, it was best to let them be.

“How do you think Josephine has changed you?” Olivia continued her questioning.

Theia laughed again, tilting her head back as the very concept filled her head with far too many ideas to synthesize at once. “Where do I begin?”

Seeing her friend light up with energy, Olivia smiled, her nose scrunching a bit with endearment. “You know I have nothing but time, silly.”

“Josephine has…” Theia exhaled, looking out onto the overlook of the courtyard at all the small figures of bodies hard at work. She took a moment to compose herself, and to organize her emotions in tandem with her thoughts. “Josephine changed everything. She was the farthest from what…from who I expected. But, I feel accepted by her. It has been a great solace to have someone throughout all this, though it sounds unrealistic to gesture toward its existence.”

Olivia nodded slowly as she walked, the playful swinging of her feet rocking her to and froe. “It is good to see the friend I knew to be so protective and self-sacrificing have someone she allows to care for her, for a change,” she admitted as she gathered her hands behind her waist, clasping them together.

Theia scoffed. “You all make me sound like some pompous martyr!”

“Theia, you left yourself physically in the Fade to face a surely fatal enemy. You have also thrown yourself in between me and various attacks on several occasions. Oh, and lest we forget—”

“Alright! Alright, I concede!” Theia said as she held her hands up, chuckling under her breath. “I knew the Fade stint would be unforgiveable!”

Olivia laughed, then, reaching and placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder and the other to her mouth. For a situation so terrifying to think about, it felt good to be able to joke about it as a memory. Theia had always been the one to get herself into ridiculous situations and instead of working her way out of them, digging her heels in for her desired outcome. It was often her way or the highway, even in the case of the most unbelievable adversities.

“Josephine has changed you – you would have fought me on this for at least another hour, if we were who we were a year ago.”

“Aha, I see,” Theia raised a brow, “so she has softened me?”

“No, no. In fact, I think she has made you a more capable debater. But, that also means knowing when to surrender and make concessions such as you did just now. It is tact, my friend, and not stubbornness, that invents the victorious. Choosing battles is more important than winning them all.”

They found their way to a corner of the path, surveying more of the range and more of the lake frozen over with ice. This corner was where Theia had spent many a time discussing issues with multiple allies – Cullen, Sera, Cole, and a most astute Seeker. This reminded her.

“Do not think yourself above these interrogations,” she said, placing a hand on her hip, “you, also, have much to answer for.”

Olivia shrugged. “What about it?” she asked with a skepticism to her tone.

“You and the Seeker, of course. You and the Inquisition at large, even. It has changed you, and it has only been a matter of months.”

Fiddling with her gown skirt now that the attention was on her track record, Olivia felt a bit less bodacious in demeanor. She could feel the fragile butterflies in her stomach flutter in anticipation.

“I have made interesting choices in light of my experiences and difficulties,” she said coyly, “as well all do our best to do.”

Theia raised a brow, her chin lifting a bit. “She has changed you. That was a textbook Seeker Pentaghast deflection, if I have ever heard one.”

Olivia’s eyes widened then, alarmed and immediately caught in the act of being influenced by someone she had spent almost every free hour in the company of since they became close. Feeling her cheeks take their turn with becoming red with shyness, she stared off sternly into the distance, her jaw clenching a bit.

Theia watched her fondly. It was refreshing to see her so off-kilter.

“I am still the person I always was, I am simply older now. A year can do that to you, you know,” Olivia added, still denying eye contact.

Theia nodded quietly, letting silence still the tension. When she had taken a few moments to contemplate how best to proceed, she leaned onto one hip and looked back at her.

“You are more deliberate now. She has helped you realize just how strong and formidable you have always been. You found someone you believe when they tell you that you are capable, and worthy. And being here has provided you with evidence for it -- you are doing good, and necessary work.”

Olivia was silent and frozen in place as her friend narrated the influence of her love on who she was. She had always been secretly terrified that love would change her, distort who she was and take from her. When Theia confirmed in that moment that Cassandra’s love had done none of those things – and in fact, quite the opposite – it filled her with an overwhelming sense of pride and protectiveness.

“Is this how you always feel? This looming weight of reverent defensiveness for those whom you love?”

Theia smiled crookedly. “Yes, always and without reprieve.”

“It is miserably inconvenient,” Olivia teased sorely, turning to face her at last. “Besides, I think it unfair to narrowly analyze our own evolutions. Surely, we have changed others, too. The whole world is not simply in existence to shape us two individuals only, no?”

Theia chuckled heartily, leaning over a bit as she did so. “Now, that was a textbook Olivia deflection.”

Olivia slapped Theia on the shoulder again lightly, growling a bit with haughty spite. Theia did not flinch this time, however, nor did she pretend to be hurt or intimidated. She was emboldened in her wit.

“I am sure Josephine has become more…open-minded, with humor,” Theia admitted as she scooted her boot heel on the gravelly stone. “Or perhaps she has become more impatient. Who am I to truly know?”

Olivia tilted her head, her eyes narrowing. “Lady Montilyet’s reputation whilst I was an accessory to the Court was one of shrewd kindness and intention. She was also known for not giving an inch in the face of breaks in decorum. Since being her, I have seen her defy it when interacting with you several times. You, my friend, have charmed the one Lady who was believed incorruptible.”

“Oh, so my love is corruption?” Theia snickered.

“Perhaps – Orlesians do not recognize pure love, we recognize persuasion of mutual interests.”

“Is that how you have won over Cassandra, with that Orlesian optimism?”

“Theia!” Olivia smiled and began to walk the rest of their path towards the doors which would cut through the Commander’s office on the way back to the libraries wherein Olivia was to continue her archival work for the day. As they walked together – Theia catching up rather easily – the conversation continued.

“If it is any consolation, I have not seen the Seeker adapt Imperial rhetoric or practice yet,” she added.

“Good, because it would certainly call into question who she is keeping company with other than me – I am the most un-Orlesian Orlesian this side of the Waking Sea.”

“That, I will agree with – you and our Spymaster, I must say.”

Olivia smirked as she played with her own hair, before grabbing some strands and tucking them behind her ear. “Cassandra’s a Seeker, Theia. It is her duty to not be influenced or led astray past her convictions and responsibilities. Least of all by the personality of a former rebel Mage.”

Theia nodded, listening but not agreeing. The smug grin on her lips gave it away.

“Look, Olivia, I am not saying that it was likely. Everyone in the Inquisition knows of her principles and discipline. But, I have read reports…”

Olivia stopped and turned sharply to face her, her eyebrows raised. “Reports?! What have you heard?! Theia, if you don’t—”

Theia reached and placed both her hands on Olivia’s shoulders, steadying her as she stifled another laugh. “Olivia, calm down. Is it not what you think.”

“Not what I think? If she is being judged as inadequate or not adhering to her duties the way she used to, she—”

“Olivia, it is quite the opposite, actually. Troops and Officers stationed abroad are remarking that she seems to be more patient in her orders these past few months. They are also finding it easier to approach her with problems. One Lieutenant wrote in an official report than she heard the Seeker laugh for the first time ever, and thought it important enough to include as a detail. Varric also told me that she grinned in passing one morning. Grinned!”

Olivia stared blankly, finally speechless. Theia stared back at her, not knowing what to expect: more panicking? Crying? Laughing? It was all possible, surely.

“I…” she managed to mutter, before swallowing hard. “I see.”

Theia released her from her hold and took a step back. “I know my best friend, the Seeker, and I also know my best friend, the Apothecary Mage. I know them enough to see that the Seeker has been encouraged by the Apothecary Mage to lead with softness as a form of strength. That is nothing to feel sorry for, Olivia.”

Olivia was frozen again for a moment, collecting the emotions that she had misfired in anticipation of admonishment. So, it was true, then. Cassandra had taken a page or two from Olivia’s book. But it wasn’t political or manipulated – it was simple kindness. Simple, and powerful at the same time.

“Well,” she cleared her throat then, and adjusted her posture, “Cassandra is every bit capable of pleasantries as I am. Everyone takes for granted that she is stern and rigid, but, that is not the entire truth.”

“Olivia, with all due respect, back at Haven it was gossiped that she made a nug cry.”

“Oh, Theia! That is ridiculous, and you know it.”

Theia stifled a laugh, folding her arms again. “Alright, fine. But, just know the reputation is not by accident. I think it healthy and beneficial that she has you to remind her that she can, in fact, let on that she feels the emotion called happiness.”

Olivia shook her head, but the smile warming her face let on that she wasn’t all that cross. She returned to facing the path ahead of them, and began walking. Theia followed behind, but this time they enjoyed a slower, indulgent pace than before.

“Who allowed us to leave the Circle and fall in love with women, I ask you?” Olivia joked in a hushed tone as she eyed the stone floor ahead of her.

“I do not know, but a little birdy told me it had something to do with a rather unfortunate explosion and something to do with the blatant violence and abuse or what-have-you, and the fact that women can be quite fun when they aren’t tasked with saving the world from itself.” Theia then hooked her arm with Olivia's as they walked, nudging her shoulder with her own as she did so.

Olivia smiled. "Ah, thank you for reminding me."


End file.
